Once long ago, at the dawn of the new millennium, a bizarre broadcast came into being. This was later discovered to be named Invader Zim, and the brainchild of the mighty Jhonen. Something about the flashing lights, bright colours, and numerous pig references in the show caused several watchers to go insane. This had a multitude of results; many simply learned to live with it and retreated from society into the bountiful underbelly of the internet, others mutated into what is often referred to as the dreaded ‘Mary Sue’ (much like a vampire, it waits until dark to feed on the lifeblood of canon characters). However, the most peculiar result was not immediately recognisable. The radiation given off by the program created a new strand of the flu virus, a virus which took to life in a handful of fans. Some tried to ignore it, but they soon realised that this course of action was impossible. Only one of the infected truly recognised the extent of the disease, and chose to embrace it.

The girl who would one day be known as ‘The all mighty Panur’ realised that the virus could be a good thing. Her symptoms were the most extreme, and before long she was waking up in the morning to find she had been sleep drawing. And what drawings… Every time the same; the two characters from the disease-spreading Invader Zim, making lovey-dovey eyes. It was as if the show itself had possessed these teenagers and commanded them to do such things. Jhonen would later deny any involvement in a high profile court case. Panur, whether in her right mind or controlled by the devilish virus, decided to spread the word. To do so, she knew she would have to go to the darkest reaches of the darkest realms. After a lengthy pilgrimage, she discovered the gates of hell, often referred to as ‘deviantart’. This fortress in the shadows of the internet was already home to many dark passions, so who would notice one more? She set up house, naming the new base after the disease’s vehicles themselves - ZADR.

At first, few visited the little internet hovel. But, as the virus spread from the affected victims and drawings, more and more arrived to shelter from the unforgiving world outside. It was always the same symptoms; an urge to draw the characters of Zim and Dib in highly compromising positions. This later developed into various other medias; writing, painting, digitalisation… The list goes on. It was also around this time that the virus itself began to mutate, different versions of the disease spreading around the internet. RAPR, TAGR, DADR and many other types of drawings and bases springing up. And naturally, with more and more cases by the day, the unaffected fans started to take notice. As these fans saw themselves as ‘clean’, ‘pure’ and ‘undiseased’, it was no wonder they looked down on the ZADR group. That is not to say these fans were unaffected by disease, as that is extremely rare for watchers of the show. These groups suffered under titles such as ‘ZAGR’, ‘DATR’ and ‘ZATR’. For some reason, as long as a female character is mentioned alongside either Zim or Dib, the fans can feel cocky that their virus is lesser than that of ZADR (or similar). This has been attributed to a quote from their mighty leader, Jhonen. Jhonen has discredited the ZADR virus ever since hearing of its existence. However, what many of these cockier fans forget is that he has also discredited romance, love and of course, the fans themselves. This is a typical example of ‘quote-twisting’, and can be a result of either strand of virus.

Seeing as there is a superiority complex from approximately half of the fanbase, it is no surprise that there has been conflict. These are often started by the throwing of insults, or insulting pictures. Often, a sufferer of the ZAGR/ZATR/DATR strand of the virus will post a picture defaming the ZADR pairing or fans. This is either ignored, or attacked by angry ZADR sufferers with flamethrowers and knives. This has occasionally started a forest fire of sorts, both sides taking up arms and setting on the others like animals. In the modern age, these battles of old have been retold around campfires to the new infected, their eyes wide with shock and excitement. Of course, no society can live divided, and a treaty has been grudgingly signed by most victims of both types of virus. Some hold onto their old flamethrowers in case the call to war is once again sounded, but in these more peaceful days, the only alarms are false.

And what do Zim and Dib themselves have to say about this? Dib, now retired and in his late teens, refused to be quoted. Dib has, in his young life, been married to Zim, Tak, Dwicky and endless quantities of the dreaded Mary Sues. All these have been annulled to make way for the next. Dib’s only response when asked was ‘I just go with the flow, it’s easier’. Zim, currently working the night shift on foodcortia to pay child support, has suffered a similar fate since leaving the show. He has been married off to Gaz, Tak, Dib, GIR and seemingly endless Irken Sues. Many of these have ended up in paternity suits. When asked to comment, he merely hurled a boiling wedge of grease at the correspondent and returned to mopping the floor.

It seems no-one will ever know the exact source of the virus, whether it is easy to live with or not, and if either strand is superior. All we know is that, much like a cursed videotape, the virus must be spread to others to prevent victims from succumbing to their symptoms. Perhaps this is why almost every fan is affected. And once infected, all you can do is sit back, relax, and keep drawing that alien/human loving. There is no cure. And there never will be.